I said before that my intention was to record my dealings with the process. It’s been almost a full week since my last update, but I haven’t felt like posting about it.
Here’s the quick recap: a week went by, no work, some family drama, I spent most days feeling from lousy to downright hopelessly depressed. The process became harder to apply in these times, but I still did it. It gave me about twenty seconds of relief at most. Kinda like a whip it. For a second I could touch the infinite, then it would recede into the background. When good things did happen, they didn’t change my mood. I was definitely in a slump.
A Patch of Sunlight
Robert Scheinfeld compares the process to poking holes in solid cloud cover that covers your entire reality, blocking out the sun (your Expanded or Higher self) creating a gray dismal world below (our limited reality.) By using the process you poke holes to allow some of that light to shine through.
A major hole got poked for me. It was a series of fortunate events (and brilliant minds)
Results in the Hologram
I finally got paid for the work I’d been doing, and was able to pay off all my debt. With the resulting money, I decided to simply buy things and trust that I had enough. I figure building trust in myself is more important than a $27 check bounce fee.
I’ve been working out consistently for about two months now and I’m starting to see results. I’m the most muscular I’ve been in my life which isn’t saying much since I’ve almost always been skinny as a rail.
But here’s the kicker.
The Breath of God
And no, you don’t have to duck a sawblade to make it past. And yeah, Indiana Jones wish he had this holy grail. I wrote the article Breath is Your Guide which is actually a composite of the philosophies of Robert Scheinfeld and Alan Watts and it rang completely true. You don’t have to believe me, but know that somewhere after writing this, feeling its’ message resonate, playing the fantastically immersive video game Mirror’s Edge and reading Steve Pavlina’s superb self development articles – I cultivated a burning desire. Not since before my falling out with the Law of Attraction did I have such a burning desire.
Having my life long dream of making a feature film almost succeed and then crash and burn was more pain than I could bear. Now I desire to make movies once again, as if it’s new again, as if the pain has left me. Replaced with resolve.
After the burning desire, came the resolve, then the conviction of what I must do, and when I must do it, then the illusions of what I thought I wanted fell away, then the path seemed obvious. Then I began to walk it. This all happened in perhaps the span of three or four hours. Writing this blog in this moment in time is part of that purpose.
I felt my expanded self saying “Wake up. the wind is at your back. Fulfill your purpose. Create your dreams. For you are not just you, but you are your dreams waiting for you to live them, you are your purpose holding you steady on your course, and you are the wind that makes your steps lighter, your heart stronger.” It was like I’d been in a coma and now I was spiritually breathing again.
Now mind you, not much has changed in the external world – the hologram. I’m still damn poor, living in my parents’ basement, with no way to make movies easily, in a town where I don’t know anybody. And my mouth is sore because I just got my first wisdom tooth out.
But I’ve seen the light. It’s cold and rainy down here in limited reality (and in New Jersey) but I’ve seen a glimmer of what is to come. And believe me when I say that everything became completely clear. Does the process work? Hell yes.