Phase 2, Day 264 – I am not in Control

I am not in control. Not of anything.  Control is merely an illusion just like everything else. But what is controlling it is the most sophisticated and custom tailored story the universe has ever seen. Losing control is a very good thing…

If you believed you had control that was simply a pattern your expanded self put in the field and energized. Chances are if you experienced having control, then you also experienced losing that control. The reality is, you never had control in the first place. Think about that for a second. What do you think you have control of?

Your money – Nope – all just patterns in the illusion. This means that at any time “randomly” or “with a story” you could “recieve” a windfall of money, or “lose” everything, or put out a lot of “effort” and “get nothing back” or put out no effort and “get a lot.”

Your friends – You figure you’ve been friends for 10 years so you can rely on them, right? Sorry to say, no. Based on what your expanded self wants you to experience you could experience everything from deeper friendship to complete loss, all “without cause.”

Your emotions – This is huge when I realized this. You’d like to think that influencing your hologram can control your emotions, but this is not true.Why? Because you are a pattern inserted into the field and energized by consciousness, albeit a very special one.

I realized this two days ago and it really got cemented the next day. The days were the exact opposite of each other. The first day I felt amazing “without cause.” Everything seemed to be easy and flow. I thought, “wow, I’m just going to go with this.” I was late for work. It didn’t matter – everything worked out. When little things happened, they didn’t bother me. The day ended up as great as it began.

The next day was terrible. I woke up achy and groggy. I couldn’t get into my morning routine. “Oh no,” I thought. “It’s going to be one of those days.” And it was. “Random” things cropped up to continually aggravate me. I kept being late no matter what I did. And I felt bad so I didn’t want to talk about it.

But while this was happening I remembered the previous days’ realization and understood the truth in that moment – this was just as much an illusion as the previous day. And instead of trying to make myself feel better or figuring out “why” I felt bad or how others were going to react, I focused on accepting the pattern that was happening. Because, I am not in control. Interestingly enough, everything worked out.

But acceptance isn’t a formula for success. That was just the particular story I lived out yesterday. Today is a completely new day. There is no power out there that locks me into experiencing today what happened yesterday. I could become a different person just by a slight change in the design of this game. The possibilities are literally endless. And I say bring it on.

I say, “Here are the reins.”

I say “Here is the wheel.”

I say, “I trust you.”

And who I trust is really me anyway. The real me, behind the scenes.

My ego pattern says “No!, I am in control. I can’t do this or else my life will fall to shambles.”

To that I say, “May be, but you have to let me go.” And in that moment I put my hands up and let the roller coaster dip down the tracks towards an ever increasing bliss.

Sing it with me now,

“I am not in control!”

9 thoughts on “Phase 2, Day 264 – I am not in Control”

  1. Wow…you just described my last 2 days to a tee! One day feeling bliss and so expanded and the next just what you described. And what I love that I created you to say, was the part about surrendering….so much where I have been. Just going with the ride, whatever is going on in the moment. Knowing it is not me…the ego me….it is my ES.
    I sing the chorus….I am not in control. Wheeeeee!!!!

  2. Chris….Love this. I created this at the exact perfect time for me. I’m so looking forward to meeting you and we can get a meet-up going if it so manifests itself. Your blog is wonderful! You are so tapped into the illusion and what it all means. I’m grateful for you/me!

  3. Thank you, both of you. Connecting with others/aspects is why I feel compelled to keep writing. You are just as responsible for this piece as me. :-)

  4. I am not really sure I totally understand all of this, yet. I am curious though and I always enjoy a good adventure. Why not possibilities!

  5. Thank you Chris. This was extremely insightful and just brought me to another level of surrender. While I understood that “I” am not in control, I never thought about the fact that ES is also responsible for the way “I” am feeling.

    Not to mention that the last two days have been very much like you describe.

    Wow! I love you/me!

  6. By the way – I also love the idea of keeping a running journal — day by day — of my Phase 2 insights… as you are doing.

    You/me are brilliant!

  7. Chris,
    Great stuff. I particularly liked the line that acceptance isn’t a formula for success. The possibilities change every day. It reminds me of a Native American man, Joseph Rael, who speaks in my documentary “The Language of Spirituality.” He says his people’s word for “tomorrow” is roughly equivalent to meaning “to shatter.” You shatter what today was, so that you can start again fresh without any of the judgments about what went on today and what is going to happen in the future.

  8. I really like that metaphor of shattering the past to make way for the future. The only reason I know that acceptance isn’t a formula for success (besides directly experiencing the Truth) is because I tried it already and it didn’t work. Nothing changed and the only thing I ended up accepting is I couldn’t accept anything!

    I wouldn’t even call Busting Loose a formula for success. I don’t really know what to call it. I think of it as a map to higher consciousness. But it’s a relief map (in more ways than one) so you can only see the major points on the journey. Whoever invents a closer map is going to be a successful person indeed :-) But at the same time, it’s almost a right of passage from the mirage to the oasis.

    Thoughts? Maybe this is better posting material…

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