Tag Archives: hologram

The Paradox of Change

Nothing changes, until it does.

I’m about to rock your world…

Things change, but you never change things. What I mean is that it is not you doing the changing of anything. So I want to stress to you that you are not changing anything, but I also want to stress to you that you will never believe my words. Now that we’ve established a relationship of mutual distrust, let me continue.

You may believe it intellectually, but deep down in your soul you will continue to believe that you have sway over your reality. This is the fundamental paradox of our time here. If you’re reading this blog, you probably think you are an open minded person. Well I have news for you: you are human – subject to flaws, prejudices, and other kinds of limitations. If you say, “you’re wrong about me!” you might go to great lengths to prove that you are in fact open-minded and furthermore, that you don’t need to change anything.

But here is where the trap happens. The fact that you need to prove to me (or yourself, or god, or whoever) that you don’t need to change, is you trying to change something. I’ll say it again. Wanting to not change (or detach, or surrender, or whatever) is wanting to change that you want change. In fact, wanting things to stay the same, is wanting them to change underneath. Go as far as you can underneath your own internal drives and see if you don’t want some little aspect of your life to be different.

Ok, let’s stop with the torture. The only thing you can do with this paradox is embrace it.

You cannot solve a paradox – just as you cannot change anything in your life. You cannot get out of a paradox, for that is not what a paradox is for. I do not mean to instill helplessness in you. I do not mean to tell you to stop trying. I mean only to tell you the truth as I know it.

It is your role to make things better, but doing so is fundamentally futile. I know it doesn’t seem so. If you could, why wouldn’t you make more money, attract better relationships, travel more, and do more more more? If you were to boil down exactly what the human game is at its root it is the fundamental relationship between you and the world. Specifically, that you try to change the world. And  the tricky thing is that sometimes it looks like the world has changed, but that’s all part of the game. That’s what keeps you emotionally invested in your life.

Do you understand? You may understand intellectually and you may never get it a gut level . There is nothing particularly to get here anyway. The irony is that as I’m writing I’m living the game right now, banging my head against a computer screen trying to get you to understand. But not long ago I realized that I can’t change that I want to change my life. So I’m doing the only thing I can do – embracing it.

I recommend that you too do this. But it doesn’t matter what you should or should not do, you are going to do what you’re going to do anyway regardless of what I say. If what I say compels you to do something different, that was the story you wrote out for yourself. I did not change it for you. Change happens to you and within you – nothing more. Nothing less.

Are you having trouble dealing with it emotionally? That is because you hold on the idea that you are in control of your life. You may have read Busting Loose from the Money Game and thought “wow this is my ticket to happiness.” Indeed the book lays out step by step what you can expect in your brand new life. But this is the genius of your experience here. Hidden within that book is the message that awareness has no path and the change you burn for is unnecessary. Yet the form of the book offers you progress and results: The same kind of progress and results that you’ve been chasing your entire life in spiritual and non-spiritual ways.

So what is different? Some would say awareness is the only thing that changes. Others would say everything changes. I would say both are true. If my words sound hollow it’s because at a certain point, that’s what words do. You have to take it from there.

Robert Scheinfeld previously said that, on your journey, you will eventually let go of trying to change, fix, or improve your life. Yet recently Robert said that he no longer believes you shouldn’t try to change the hologram. He is tapping into a fundamental truth. Like the ocean, your world is forever changing. And the rules themselves are forever changing. But for now the rules seem set.

It is as simple as this:

  1. There’s you and there’s your reality.
  2. You will forever try to change your reality to fit what seems to be in your mind. What you want will change, but you will not change that you want.
  3. Reality will push and pull against you.
  4. If you change that you want, the game will end.

Such a simple game but infinitely complex in its variations. Do you see? You are so amazed by this game that you would never want to stop playing.

Play on!

Make the Process More Effective by Breaking Down the Hologram

In some ways, using the term “egg” to describe a center from which you reclaim your power is a misnomer. Egg implies a buried standalone object that, once discovered, is yours forever. While I do agree that power reclaimed is reclaimed forever, the egg that hides that power is not standalone.

In the beginning of Phase 2 I had trouble until I realized a fundamental rule of how power is hidden in the hologram:

Eggs are interdependent. They do not sit alone, buried. They exist in a network structure, like roots of a tree, neurons in a brain, or people in a well functioning society (thank you, Stephen Covey!)

You may drain the power in one only to find a source of power related to it in another. Power in your relationships egg may actually be power in your money egg, self-worth egg, parents egg, travel egg, disease egg, or anything else.

So how can you make the process reflect this new understanding?

By breaking down the hologram. It’s simpler and less violent than it sounds.

Eggs connect together until they become one big impossible-to-differentiate- egg-like mass. This reinforces your place as a helpless agent in the hologram.

Have you ever tried to clear a wooded area of all the plants? It takes effort, but you pull the top layer of weeds off. With sore hands you look upon your accomplishment, satisfied. Yet out of the corner of your eye there’s a small stalk sticking out of the ground.

“I’ll just get that last one,” you think. Yep.

10 hours later you’re still trying to rid that small area (for a nice little wood shed) of those blasted weeds.

Yeah, eggs are like that. 10 hours, try 10 years! (not saying it actually takes this long, I’ve only been in Phase 2 for just over a year now)

What is Breaking Down the Hologram?

I’m glad you asked…self.

During the process, Robert Scheinfeld outlines a step wherein you say,

There is no power out there, not in anyone or in anything.”

I have spent a great deal of time pondering this idea, and still it boggles my mind. What I find supportive, because this is such a grand statement is I like to identify where and in what I perceive the power to be. And once I do that, like an egg detective, I look further to see if I can find the hidden places of power.

If you’ve been reading this blog, you’ll know that I recently had a falling out with my best friend who I was in love with and shared a house with while opening into a new relationship and better living situation.

Naturally, I experienced a great deal of discomfort. Discomfort as you know is really just your power in disguise.

Can you name the disguises?

Let’s start with the obvious ones. The house I shared with my best friend is not real. The new house I “moved into” is not real. My (no longer) best friend Ash is not real. My current girlfriend Tabitha is not real.

Seems easy right? But we’re just getting started.

My job that kept me away from Ash is not real. The money I earned from the job to “pay” the rent on the old house and become dissatisfied with “wasting” money is not real. In fact, there was no dissatisfaction in the first place, because there was no distance to commute from “home” to “work” and there was no car to commute with, and  there was no gas to fill the car. There was no rent or bills to pay. There were no overdraft fees to force me to keep working.

There was no wasting money because there was no money in the first place.

You see this isn’t just a relationship egg or a housing egg, it’s also a money egg and a career egg.

But there’s more.

There wasn’t really a falling out between myself and Ash over living somewhere that was no longer supportive for me. There was no friendship between us in the first place, no matter how concrete it may have seemed. Furthermore, there was no love or pain to feel.

Now it gets crazy.

The person who I think I am is not real either. So there is no me to become dissatisfied, love, be fearful, or experience pain. There’s no me to have been lonely to develop love in the first place. There’s no me that “needs” anything from the “world.” There is no world to “get” anything from. Furthermore there is no me to have caused any sort of discomfort to “others” in the hologram.

Brace yourself.

In fact, since nothing exists, there is no cause and effect at all. There was nothing you did to make any of this happen. There was nothing “they” did to make your life what it is. There is no past. No future. There is no time to pass, only a story. There isn’t even the present you are “experiencing” right now.

Here’s where you trade your beliefs about the hologram for the truth.

I am in infinite abundance right here, right now.

There is nothing for you to do, because there is in fact, nothing to do or be. You already are everything. You already are perfect. If you really think through this exercise, how can you not be? Absolutely nothing is real. The hologram is so intricately detailed, down to the dust that floats in the light from your window, that only by pulling the truth apart piece by piece can you experience who you truly are.

This is what the process ultimately does for you on a macro level. On a micro level though, I recommend breaking down the hologram. Obviously, you don’t have to do this all the time or ever if it doesn’t feel right. One of the things I love about Busting Loose is just how flexible it really is.

But I can’t remember how many times I try to tell the truth about a situation when I forget to tell the truth about myself. Everything is not real, it’s not just me – “the real person”- inside a hologram.

How do you break down the hologram? Do you augment or personalize the process?

“Funny People”: Why the Hologram Feels so Real

How can something feel so real and so fake at the same time?
How can something feel so real and so fake at the same time?

You may be asking – what does a shallow comedy have to do with spirituality?

Funny People is about as shallow as the continental shelf and for me the experience of watching it was like a guided tour of the creation of the hologram. For you non-busters, this means that the attention to detail in both its fictional world and it’s honesty of emotion is staggering.

Both groups will enjoy Anthony DellaFlora’s article on the intersection of comedy and spirituality The Zen of Seinfeld.

You should know that I have a bias. I have a B.A. in Film and Digital theory the majority of which was earned by analyzing films. The upside of this is now when I watch movies it becomes a four-dimensional experience. No I don’t go back in time, but I watch much more than the movie itself. Even while I’m engrossed in the story, I think about and analyze the cinematography, the direction, the locations, the script process, the sound design, the editing, the 2nd unit work (stunts and location-only shots). It’s like having a making-of documentary simultaneously piped into my brain at the same time as watching the movie.

You may think that this kind of critical thinking would detract from my pure enjoyment, but on the contrary, it greatly enhances it. Having made a film, I’m in awe of how much work must have gone into every little piece. How difficult it was for them to find that perfect extra to walk by the background of the shot at just the right moment. Or how much work went in to planning a piece of dialogue that reveals a nuance of a character. So when a film is good or great, it becomes a truly transcendental experience.

Are you seeing the corollary to busting loose yet? No?

Ok, so maybe you’re not me. Maybe you watch films for the pure escapism of it or maybe you don’t even think about all of the rigorously planned elements that go into a movie that make it feel like it was meant to be that way. The funny thing about Funny People is that it makes you have that kind of experience no matter what kind of person you are.

Putting busting loose aside for a second, what is the difference between the narrative of “movies” and “real life.”?

1. Movies have characters you can root for and neatly wrapped endings whereas life is full of ambivalence and non resolution.

These characters are credibly unsympathetic and they experience very little personal transformation.

2. Movies take place in a fictional universe with fictional characters.

This takes place in L.A. with characters who are only fictional because their name is different than in real life. E.G.

Adam Sandler plays a rich comedian turned movie star who makes shallow family movies.

Seth Rogen plays a young comedian taken under the wing of Sandler (in real life just the same happened with him and director Judd Apatow)

Leslie Mann (Apatow’s wife) plays the mother of two who are actually her kids in real life. At multiple times during the movie, we watch old real clips of all of these actors in the context of their characters’ stories.

Not to mention all these actors (featured on the poster) are or could be considered “funny people.” At this point the line between fiction and reality really begins to blur.

3. Comedies especially have contrived situations with formulaic structures.

Most of the time you’re watching brutally honest performances in normal life situations while the movie merely threatens to have a plot:

Is it about a young comedian starting his career?

Is it about an old comedian dealing with impending death?

Is it about a couple trying to rekindle an old flame?

Is this not starting to seem like real life?

I dare you to watch this movie and not think of the elaborately constructed world inside the movie or the elaborately constructed world outside the movie theater. This movie continues to capture real human experience to a frightening degree while also calling attention to the fact that it’s not real.

So what’s the point?

If you’ve ever believed that life was an illusion, most likely your brain or one of your five senses brought you back into believing it was real. Maybe you felt fear that you wouldn’t have enough money to live or joy from getting promoted. Maybe you stubbed your toe. Maybe you got rejected by that person you really wanted to know more about.

Like swing dancing, dating, and tug of war, awakening from your state of living dreaming is a push-pull process.

If you were to pose the question of “why make the movie feel so real?” to Judd Apatow, he would probably answer “to make the illusion better.” And then ask him “why make the illusion better?” he would answer “to make the emotional experience of the movie more real.” This could go on forever…

Modern day Hollywood  is one of the greatest manifestations of an illusion making machine that we have in our experience. It is one of the greatest “clues” to what’s really going on. So much money, time, effort, and energy is put into such complex illusions to make them feel “real.” Robert Scheinfeld even equates living to being in a “full-immersion movie.”

And that requires being fully immersed. Which means coming up for air only so often to see the truth. So now that you can’t see which way is up, is the awakening that you experience when you do the process another, deeper illusion?

Is it the honesty and truth poking through the artifice? Or is the honesty and truth you feel right now just an illusion itself? For the record, I believe that it is real truth poking through the cloud cover. I believe the hologram pulls you further towards immersion in order to further convince you of the truth. Every time I experience transcendence or the truth, it’s not long for the hologram to do its darndest to convince me that it’s real again. In one moment I see the Matrix and in the next I’m paying taxes. Then I realize the taxes are an illusion, but then I have a flat tire.  How far can this rabbit hole go?

Like watching Funny People, I think busting loose includes a happy coexistence of the illusion and the truth – one where each illuminates the other.

What do you “think”?

Phase 2, Day 1

So after (not) much deliberating I’ve decided to take the plunge. To put my money where my mouth is, or rather my behavior where my mind is. I’m moving into Phase 2 so I can give the world’s first step by step account of the path to enlightenment. After much searching on the sidelines of the truth, getting glimpses of it behind all the obstructions of my beliefs, I have finally made it to the launch pad. The world will never be the same. Or it will and I will have conducted a fantastic experiment.

Skeptical?

My aim is not to persuade those who don’t agree, but rather to provide a step by step account of what happens to believe this journey is possible, inevitable, and above all, the truth. Think of it like a journal about sleep deprivation or a radical diet. But it’s a limitation deprivation and a life diet.

A Confession

This isn’t technically day 1. I was introduced to these concepts just last week by my good friend and after it ignited my interest, I found all the free stuff regarding “Busting Loose from the Money Game” that I could get a hold of. Even so it was difficult to get a complete picture of Richard Scheinfeld’s vision without having read the book. I finally got a copy of the book last night and began reading. I voraciously finished it this morning (yeah I slept in there) and decided once and for all to go on what he calls the great treasure hunt of Phase 2.

My Path is Unique

Since the basis of this journey is that I am the sole creator of my holographic universe – see my article on “Unplugging from the Matrix” , it may seem weird that I’m deciding to share this information with a “fake” universe and that it would be a huge waste of time. Well, firstly, see my article on “Quantum Physics and Your Friends” to see that this presupposition is and isn’t the case. And secondly, one of the missions of Phase 2 is to do what you feel compelled to do, and I feel compelled to write. So even if you are all imaginary, this is still more than worth it.

Having said that, I’m going to narrow the focus of this blog to only situations that pertain to Phase 2 vs Phase 1 thinking, application of “The Process”, and any changes that appear internally or externally.

The Process

As I said I’d been practicing the process for a little under a week now so I’ve had it memorized: experience discomfort, tell the truth about who you are (as the creator of all in this reality), reclaim power, and experience your true self. I noticed a couple of things in his book that I couldn’t glean from the cliff notes I found of a seminar of his, things that served to fill in this model of reality well.

The process doesn’t actually end at feeling infinite, although the brief feelings I’ve had are great. They are sort of a wash of well being. But here’s the test (sort of like re-multiplying to check the result after doing long division.) Re-run the external or internal trigger of the discomfort (for example, an unfavorable conversation) and see if the same emotion is provoked. If it’s lessened – success! Immediate results that the process is working!

This is similar to Anthony Robbins’ submodalities that he talks about in “Awaken the Giant Within” Many others talk about installing new beliefs to counteract old beliefs and use similar processes such as EFT tapping or Reiki, or even Yoga or meditation. Robbins’ is the most practical of the sort. He tells people to call up a bad memory and view it like you’re watching a movie. This isn’t a stretch. But then, by changing the visual and auditory nature of the movie you change your feeling about it. So to lessen an emotional trauma you can make it black and white, shrink it, or turn down the volume in your mind. Robbins does this because he presupposes that you can’t access emotions directly and must use a mind-image surrogate, much like how you can’t move the arrow cursor on your computer screen without using a mouse. This is a little bit like using a sponge to sop up the water that’s running out of a hose instead of…turning the hose off.

The other methods I mentioned also deal with alleviating the symptoms of negative or limited beliefs like taking aspirin for a headache instead of eating less sugar in the first place. The process on the other hand, deals with the root problem. More on this later.

A Shift in Perspective

“You supply the food and I’ll supply the perspective” says Anton Ego in “Ratatouille”. Get ready for something hard to swallow. Cause and effect as we deal with them in Phase 1, are backwards. We believe ideas, people, and events cause the desired object of manifestation, when in reality the opposite is true. A new car instantly appears in your hologram in the future. Then that new idea in the hologram causes a rippling effect backwards through time to where you are now. This is how coincidences happen. I don’t know if I can handle the scope of what all the new things appearing and the effect of their backwards rippling is having. It may be the very reason I’m experiencing all that I am now.

I read this book at 24 which is the first time I was exposed to this idea. But my mind was primed to understand it and be willing to believe it (if I was any younger I would have thought this was a crock of shit frankly). The events that primed my mind and their effects briefly are as follows:

Two months ago: Losing all my money driving across the country. This opened me up for new ideas, starting over with nothing to lose…

Three Months ago: Reading Alan Watts book, “The Book on the Taboo of Knowing Who you Are”. I was introduced to the idea that who we are and what we experience are the same thing expressing itself in different ways.

Four months ago: Tripping on LSD at Lake Tahoe. I knew that I had to leave my hometown in California and that I must leave my past – people, experiences, and beliefs – behind to be happy.

Six Months ago: My first feature film – a lifelong dream – crashes and burns. I don’t finish it. This shows me that the Law of Attraction does not actually work.

One year ago: Begin first feature film with full conviction that I create my own reality using the rules of the Law of Attraction.

Three years ago: Read “Think and Grow Rich.” Watch “The Secret” and “What the Bleep:” My love affair with New Age, Metaphysical, and Self Help books begins. Begin studying the wondrous Law of Attraction.

Eight Years ago: Watch “The Matrix” I think, wow – wouldn’t it be cool if all of this world was fake and once we knew that, amazing possibilities would exist? A small part of it rings true with my soul.

Nine Years ago: I have the random thought, “There seems to be a greater pattern going on in life when I look at my past. There has to be some kind of design to this.” I decide to change my views from atheism to spirituality and belief in a higher power.

I’m sure I could go on and on in either direction, but it’s clear that there is a pattern here that is not random and has specifically led me here. I’d also like to point out that as the pattern moves closer to it’s origination point right now, the “random” events seem to come with greater frequency.

Let’s Talk About Feelings

I’m a results oriented person. I know that’s Phase 1 speak, but it’s true. I enjoy all this time diving into contemporary and ancient spritual texts but I’d really enjoy a much more successful and enjoyable life – money, a fantastic relationship, travel, compelling creative pursuits, leisure time, etc. Though most of these spiritual practices are supposed to make your life “better” there is no real solid measurement system for what a better life is. And since there’s no useful measurement system, it’s difficult to tell if anything is happening or “working” Generally, I’ll only stand on my head reciting the national anthem so many times without results before I’ll stop and go surf the web.

Furthermore, if something does “happen” and life gets “better” then it’s hard to tell whether it’s just been a good day, or if you’re magically creating your reality. Pretty much the only way to tell if things are getting better is if they are getting better consistently. However, most of the time external things don’t get better all that fast and it’s hard to notice subtle changes over time – like noticing your hair growing until it just seems longer or weight loss until you just seem thinner.

With the process, there is a useful measurement system, one that provides the ability to know if you are getting results whenever you apply it. The brilliance of it is it’s an internal measurement system, like the Abraham-Hicks emotional guidance system but unlike that this is focused on transforming (or draining) emotions of their power and thus reclaiming it, instead of shifting the emotion altogether, which is as useful as saying “don’t think of a pink elephant” or “stop being so angry”

If you feel better about the thing that gave you discomfort (a bill, a twinge of jealousy, or the aformentioned unfavorable conversation) after applying the process then it worked. I have tried this on numerous things so far. I’ve been applying the process around 10-20 times per day. It takes only about 60 seconds and I’ve done it while doing other stuff, such as driving, working out, or talking to someone else. Subjects of discomfort include traffic, relationship dissatisfaction, guilt, embarassment, past hurts, lack of money, lack of self esteem, feeling like I should do something when I don’t want to, and many more.

Internal Results

After applying the process, almost unequivocally the feeling I have is one of incredible well being, even when thinking about the thing that previously gave me discomfort. It’s not euphoria, but something more subdued and constant. This is a rather odd phenomenon. Imagine having a fear of heights and then all of a sudden appreciating the fear as an aspect of your limited self while feeling completely benevolent towards it. This has happened with me for even incredibly painful memories and sensations. Not, however, pain itself. I have not transcended pain like an Indian swami, but it did offer me a little relief from a toothache. When the process didn’t work, it still relieved some of the intensity of the emotion. I’m still not happy about not having money, but I’m not incredibly worried like before.

Most times when I apply it, it’s precursor is an external trigger, but thankfully I’m usually in a private situation where I have some time to apply the process. For instance when I looked at a picture of an attractive woman in a magazine and felt loss or yearning. Less often have I used the process while out and about or in the company of others. People would generally think I was nuts if I was to say out loud the statements of the process so I relegate it to my thoughts. This hasn’t lessened the effect however, except when reclaiming power it’s helpful for me to say out loud with force “I reclaim my power NOW” to improve my conviction and belief in the statement. Especially right now since this is all so new and my conviction is shaky at best.

I’ve already begun to see results in emotional stability and less worrying thoughts plague me in my downtime (when I’m not enthralled with something like a book, writing, working, or talking with a friend on the phone) On the flipside, I’ve felt more intense emotions surface. It’s like they were waiting for me to have the capacity to deal with them. I’ve found myself crying once every couple of days, maybe multiple times a day. But then I apply the process and the sadness goes away. It’s very cathartic.

The reason I’ve been having less negative thoughts is because many stem from the way I thought of the world in Phase 1. But thinking about it in a Phase 2 mindset makes the problem obsolete. For instance, right now I owe someone money and I haven’t worked in a couple months. I’m working now but I still haven’t been paid, and the guilt I feel for not paying them is heavy and only increases in pressure over time. However, in Phase 2, I’m the only one creating this hologram so I’m feeling bad about not paying myself, which doesn’t make any sense. If I went through a day and didn’t pay myself money (whatever that means) I would not care at all. I certainly wouldn’t lose sleep over it.

Another example is the feature film above that I left unfinished in California. Usually when I don’t complete something I feel like a failure, and this is no different. In Phase 2 however, the whole project can be viewed as simply an illusion that I wanted to play with at the time. Now I don’t feel compelled to work on it and would rather do other things with my life. After all, a board game that I bought and enjoyed playing doesn’t become a cause for alarm when it sits on a shelf.

Actually most of my behaviors stem from belief structure embedded in Phase 1. I check my email religously when in fact it doesn’t exist. I worry about what others think of me, though I created them. I don’t want to spend money for fear of not being able to get more, even though money is as intrinsic to my true expanded self as a head is to a body and its’ supply is unlimited.

And here’s the biggy. I began studying the law of attraction because I wanted to live an extraordinary life like a movie star billionaire astronaut. Now that I’m embarking on this journey I realize that my sole motivator for my unending spiritual quest is simply a falsitude of the Phase 1 experience. This is not to say that my dreams are null and void, but merely that proactively trying to change the hologram to reflect my dreams is completely futile. It’s like trying to shave the mirror to get rid of a beard. They say your expanded self (the infinite part of you) knows what’s best for you. Leaving life to unfold is taking a tremendous amount of faith but it’s nice feeling like I don’t have to push the “do do do” boulder up the mountain of life anymore. All in all, I believe this is the real deal.

Results in the Hologram

The amount of work that I have has drastically increased for the moment.

Last week I may have secured a job in video at a corporate facility that allows me to travel.

The same corporate facility (where I was catering) sent all of us home with free boxes (like $300 worth) of ice cream because they needed to clear out their fridges, twice. I’ve also received a platter of sandwiches from my job and many drinks from a Starbucks vendor there for free (because they didn’t want to take them downstairs)

I saw three sunbows (rainbow without rain) yesterday inside, and one today in the sky. I’ve only seen one before in my life.

Today I was being fitted for tuxedo pants, and they claimed I was a 34 waist 34 length. I’ve been a 32 34 since I was fifteen and it’s been very diffcult to find pants. I’ve been trying to gain weight and it’s finally working! And now I can find pants too!